Saturday, July 16, 2011

Beyond The Light

As a premature baby doctors informed my parents that I would be underdeveloped hence the ankle muscle growing at a slower rate than the rest of my body, amblyopia, eczema, seizures and allergies. Growing up I got rid of bronchitis but I did have asthma for a while and there might always be little things that I will have to pay attention to for the rest of my life. This does not mean I am suppose to stop living or dreaming or achieving because of my ailments. They make me Precious and why would I stop being Precious so I can fit in with the crowd. But I admit sometimes it is hard being me because there are times where you get sick of your daily routine which is fine; you cannot penalize yourself for that, everyone needs a break.
Through all of the doctors I’ve went to for eczema and allergies they have only prescribed high doses of hydrocortisone which only treats the symptoms for one week but reappears with vengeance. My mother is an advocate of Integrative/Alternative Medicine because we had experience doctors and their side effects. She was opened to trying a new way or shall I say old way, the natural way. I, on the other hand, had ambivalent feelings; I wasn’t sure what to expect but I wanted to be cured for once. My first alternative doctor was Dr. Kalidas from the Center for Natural and Integrative Medicine, Orlando Florida. This was in 2008, my junior of high school and my worst eczema breakout. I barely went to school, my self-esteem was low, I could not walk, eating food was a hassle and I didn’t sleep at all. Dr. Kalidas did extensive blood work and he explained that my body lack essential oils and that I had leaky gut syndrome. Hearing leaking gut for the first time at seventeen sounded very disturbing; I assumed Dr. Kalidas was just making up things so he could take our money. The supplements as well as the appointments were extremely costly, but they worked. It was miracle; in four months my eczema cleared up like I never had any flaky, itchy, scarring skin. I was elated but I could not keep up with the supplements and my parents and I looked for substitutes. I also cut back and I chose to use only three out of the eight recommended. My senior year in high school I was officially cured with seldom flare-ups and through an increased vegetable regime I defeat the flare-ups.
I was sure eczema was a thing of the past and I was moving on to the next stage in my life, college. I attended college four hours away from home and I was slightly worried about what would happen if I break out? Who would know what to do? How would I defend myself without my family? But I couldn’t stop living or put a hold on school because of eczema. So, my freshmen year was great; I had a running partner who ran cross-country. She was great at pushing me past my limits, which meant more hot sun and longer duration of running. I barely had break out. My skin was clear; I even ate tomatoes from time to time.
My sophomore year was opposite because my running partner transferred back home; so my running regime ceased. My appetite was still the same but I was stress; my new living arrangements were inadequate. I knew I was better than my new surroundings and I needed to be stable. I was so focused on being my better self mentally that my health fell to the side. It was irritating the condition of my skin and my coursework, which only increased flare-ups. Also, I wanted to fight this by myself; I knew my parents would not always hold my hand. But I should have known no one could fight a battle this intense by themselves.
The “Realizing” Phoenix

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