Monday, April 12, 2010


Throughout my 18 years of living and having conversations, people have analyzed me as a good girl or the unique one of the group. I have been called poetic, laid-back, kind-hearted, inspiring, truthful, dependable, intelligent, optimistic and I have qualities of a leader. With all of that being said I've come to realize, maybe I'm making up stuff but this is what I see, people try hard to be something they are not around me or uphold some sort of expectations that I don't even know about, I guess you can say they're trying to impress me. But I feel as though people think they need to act civilized around me or they will be judged. But besides being judged they feel a need to protect me from the evils of the world yet they try to corrupt me at the same time. They think I'm too nice and they can't wait until I blow a fuse, everyone releases their feelings yet people don't understand I'm not the type to yell, scream or curse you out. That's just not me and even though they admire that I stay true to myself they can't wait until I crack. It's funny people in your life want the best for you and some try to want the best for you but jealously holds them back. Other people may look at me like I'm inexperience because I have not been through a train wreck or ran through the wash and they're right I have not but I have my own battles and I choose the road where it doesn't have to be so harsh because I wanted to live my life that way. Some people think if you haven't struggled you have not lived, I disagree, living is when you are content with whats in front of you but you do not settle for what's in front of you. Yes, there was a struggle to get where you're at but why make it so hard? No one is given a golden spoon and if you were you would not want it because you would be so bored. So, just because my obstacles are not so called "harsh" in your world it does not mean it was easy. This does not mean that I am judging you and that I can not help you. If anything it feels good to give advice but people insist you have to go through heartache and pain and other stuff before you can relate to me, you have to become older. What ever thats b.s. it truly is, I can help only when you open your mind and listen. This is my "Precious" lifetime!

The Phoenix

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